my first year in 8 to not go to a month-long camp of some kind
my first year in 11 to not go to some camp, period.
and these are the musings of someone dealing with that loss
Help me to forget. help me to forget the feeling of standing on a mountain. help me to forget the feel of a horse's movement under me. help me to forget the sound of sixty women singing together, unashamed. help me to forget the feel of being safe and loved and isolated from the world. help me to forget the view from senior's porch. help me to forget the smell of old cabins. help me to forget the feeling of rising with the sun. help me to forget cold colorado nights. help me to forget the BK ceremony. help me to forget the love. help me to forget camp. help me to forget.
camp starts tomorrow. my heart is breaking. two decisons have been made:
1. fuck sorority. i'm going out there final weekend, even if i have to live in my car (condo is rented out)
2. i'm applying to be a councelor there next summer. i can't live longer without it.
there is a cheley shaped hole in my heart.
help me to forget.
"i've seen fire and i've seen rain.
i've seen sunny days that i thought would never end.
i've seen lonely times when i could not find a friend.
but i always thought that i'd see you again"
"peace, i ask of thee oh river
peace, peace peace.
when i learn to live serenely cares will cease.
from the hills i gather courage.
visions of the days to be.
strength to lead and faith to follow.
all are given unto me.
peace i ask of thee oh river
peace, peace peace"